In a conversation with my good friend G at Short Prose I told her I always wanted to write a poem using “mandolin.” She encouraged me to give it a try. Please make sure you stop by her blog to admire her wonderful poetry.

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Mediterranean nights

should I blame it on the stars
when Venus winked at me
signorina had amore in her eyes
as blind virgins prayed
in Saint Peter’s basilica
my imagination took them
to places they have never been
Mediterranean nights
tugged at my heartstrings
as if I were a lonely mandolin

This is a reenactment of a telephone conversation.

“Well, I’m the kind of girl most guys aren’t interested in. I have stubby legs. So, I am very short. My arms are fat like a wrestler. My butt is average, but it looks small because my boobs are abnormally huge. I hate my smile because I have a crooked tooth. Other men aren’t interested in me, but maybe you would like to meet me.”

That was my first wife describing herself.

When I hung up, I vowed to become her best friend. (I don’t remember what I said to her, she swears she knew she was going to marry me after that first conversation).

We talked on the phone everyday four months. In November, I flew 1350 miles (to the Dominican Republic) to meet my friend.

During conversations with her sisters and her parents, I learned she had been abused by…

When I was a kid my mother told me to study people.  You can learn so much by watching the habits of a winner.  Learn from the mistakes of losers so you don’t make them yourself.

I took this a step further.  I have always paid attention to the men the women in my life admired.

5 – My mother admired Joe Namath. She wasn’t a football fan, but she admired the way Namath guaranteed the New York Jets would win the Super Bowl III and how he backed it up. She always told me a real man kept his word. Men need to be trusted and keeping your word is the best way to earn trust.

4 – My BFF loves a man who can make her laugh. I believe no man should take himself TOO seriously. The ability to make light of oneself is important. Easing the tension in stressful…

Lonely Author has caught some grief over his guide for communicating with women. Hey, people I am a lover not a fighter. In my continued efforts to promote peace and harmony between the sexes I will decode Men/Women English.

But first, to prove he is a lover and not a fighter, here is an excerpt of his pillow talk from last night:

Lonely Author: “Honey, I want to make love to you badly.”                       Mrs. Lonely Author: “Well, at least you don’t overestimate yourself.”

Okay, plain and simple (like my donuts) decoding Men/Women English.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S ENGLISH:

* Yes……………………………….No

* No………………………………..Yes

* Maybe……………………………No

* We need………………………….I want

* I am sorry………………………..You’ll be sorry

* We need to talk………………….You’re in trouble

* Sure, go ahead……………………You better not

* Do what you want……………….You will pay for this later

* I…

Woman grimaces, “Oh, you’re an Aries.” Born on April 8, my sign appears to have plenty of negative baggage.

But let’s take a closer look at what I found on the internet.

Aries, the Lover

Aries exudes masculinity & sex appeal. He’s master of sexual banter & can even out-flirt a Gemini. Aries is a fire sign and is quite passionate about life, especially when it comes to love.

Don’t know about the exuding stuff. It’s more like sexual banter and passion for life ooze from me like jelly from a donut.

Are You Compatible with Aries?

Your Aries lover isn’t like any other lover you ever had. If you’re in a relationship, you are basking in the love fest only Aries can give.

If you’ve never dated an Aries, you’re in for a big happy surprise. This is one man who knows how to woo you. If there were…

My Baby has been so swamped with work demands, she actually fell asleep while in video chat with me.  She has barely written this week, so I wanted to pen something for her.  To set the record straight, I REALLY mean every word.  I do.  I do.

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The Flirting Beach Boy

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Have you heard about the lonely Beach Boy
He’s a Casanova and the most horrible flirt
He has enjoyed a woman or two…….or three
Til he earned a reputation for chasing skirts

Now, he wants to change and don a bright halo
“No mas,” to the all of the ladies he wants to yell
It may be too late for him to apply for heaven
Beach Boy has earned reservations in……oh, well

Though he is still a charmer, he wears blinders
And with all the chasing and flirting he’s done
Oh, the terrible Beach Boy is still…

First, I would like to thank everyone who followed my time traveling tale of love. When I originally wrote the story, I meant it to be a one time short and nothing more. Many of you suggested turning this into a larger story.

As days passed, I realized how this can become a screenplay and novel that could draw interest.

I want to use this post as a reference guide, ; collecting and storing suggestions here.

I will set the story in the near future (2030 or 2040) because of the school shooting. Obviously, I can’t have my characters going back to the 1980s when school shootings weren’t prevalent.

Please use this post to submit suggestions on this story that is being formulated in my head. Any suggestions you may have to enrich this story will be greatly appreciated.

1 – I need a new title for this story.  I…