Mom turned in my story for her writing class. Her teacher gave her some ideas.
“A good idea, but I wonder if there is not too much dialogue here. The theme is strong, and the characters solve their own problems. It’s good to see Justin gradually unfold and become a little more confident. I imagine this story may be more successful if the emotions were more intense — a greater contrast between the fear and the joy. It’s an idea worth polishing, and it may have potential.”
This is our third draft. You will have to imagine that the park is full of kids.
The sun warmed the spring air. Justin and Manny hadn’t played at the park for six months. They ran ten blocks to the park without stopping. Sounds of children laughing and squeaky swings filled their ears.
On one side of the park parents watched little ones…
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